Stepney.Ammer 9:26 Mon Oct 31
Colonoscopy
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Due to have one of these done today.
The stuff they give you to clear you out take the day before....fuck me PISSING SHIT ain't the word!!
Having the full shebang and all the way into the bowl and will thankfully be under sedation, so I'm hoping to not feel/remember much!!
Any of you lot had this done....what can I expect....will I feel like I've spent the night with Graham Norton afterwards??
My Doctors name by the way is RakSHIT....I kid you not!
Gank - I know, I know. But when one of the most memorable threads on here involves you and killing a Stork, I think you're partly to blame for the non West Ham related threads on here!
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Spandex Sidney
12:11 Sun Jul 1
Re: Colonoscopy
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State sponger. Don't expect the UK taxpayer to pick up the tab for your social care when you live forever as a dribbling blancmange when we have deserving foreigners to house and throw money at.
I myself will be doing my bit for my country on my 65th birthday when I will commit suicide outside HM Treasury by self-immolation so no UK local authority has to pay for my cremation.
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medwayhammer1
11:23 Sat Jun 30
Re: Colonoscopy
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Full fat homo here then....oh and now officialy TWO YEARS in remission :-)
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Spandex Sidney
9:33 Sat Jun 30
Re: Colonoscopy
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The government officially logs you as 'Bisexual' after this procedure, you do know that right?
If you have it done twice, you're reclassified as a full-fat homo as you clearly like it and not man enough to die early of cancer like the rest of us.
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Alfs
9:26 Sat Jun 30
Re: Colonoscopy
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I didn't find it too bad. Uncomfortable and unpleasant, yes, but only mildly painful. Pleased I had it though, just for the peace of mind.
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Tomsdad
9:22 Sat Jun 30
Re: Colonoscopy
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Nelson!
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ted fenton
7:55 Sat Jun 30
Re: Colonoscopy
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I only had gas & air for my Colonoscopy and it was the worse experience of my life they took away three polyps.
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shim
9:14 Sat Jun 30
Re: Colonoscopy
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Had the camera up the backside recently due to my bowel & bladder sticking together.. the arse one was horrendous.
But they wanted to see the damage from both sides, so I also had one stuck up my japs eye (cistiscopy) to have a look round my bladder.. not knocked out for either procedure,
Jesus fucking wept.
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simon.s
10:54 Fri Jun 29
Re: Colonoscopy
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I imagined the camera to be some tiny little thing, but it ain’t! And the tube it was connected to looked about the same thickness as my little finger.
I think they are looking to produce something that you swallow in tablet form, that can film the insides, then dissolves, or you shit out. I imagine that would be expensive, and could be some years away.
I also wasn’t allowed to give blood for about six months due to the possibility of having contracted mad cows disease, due to the camera thing. Nice!
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Far Cough
10:32 Fri Jun 29
Re: Colonoscopy
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yeah simon, me neither, just the throat spray
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simon.s
10:31 Fri Jun 29
Re: Colonoscopy
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I’ve had that FC, no sedation either. Not fun.
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Far Cough
10:21 Fri Jun 29
Re: Colonoscopy
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Had the old Gastroscopy today (camera down the throat) fucking horrible procedure, felt like a fist being forced down my gullet, much prefer the old camera up the jacksie and I hated that
Yeah, I'm a big old baby when it comes to surgical procedures
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Northern Sold
5:34 Tue Jun 5
Re: Colonoscopy
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Cheeky 'ickle c&p there Eggy??
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Eggbert Nobacon
5:21 Tue Jun 5
Re: Colonoscopy
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Picolax for sale - -https://www.mistrys.co.uk/picolax-sachets-pack-of-2-sachets-oral-laxative-max-1-per-order.html
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Helmut Shown
4:53 Tue Jun 5
Re: Colonoscopy
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I hope all goes well for both of you Stepney and Ted. I had this done a few weeks ago and the worst part is definitely the boiling lava stuff they give you to purge your bowels. As i was getting dressed after the procedure i let rip the longest loudest fart I've ever done.the bloke in the next cubicle was heard to sat "what the fuck was that"
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4ever-blowin-bubbles
2:26 Tue Jun 5
Re: Colonoscopy
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i had 1 done a few years ago
its not a pleasent experiance but im glad i got it done and got the "all clear"
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charleyfarley
2:10 Tue Jun 5
Re: Colonoscopy
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Hope all goes well Ted
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ted fenton
1:51 Tue Jun 5
Re: Colonoscopy
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franksfat&slow&wank 1:41 Tue Jun 5
Cheers frank and all,
Hope your Mum get's looked after frank as I have by the NHS they have been brilliant.
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franksfat&slow&wank
1:41 Tue Jun 5
Re: Colonoscopy
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ted
my old lady has just been diagnosed with chronic liver disease, she's never drunk much in her life either but has got it.
I missed her appointment last week as was away so will be attending her next 1 in a few weeks to understand the future.
keep up the good work on the non drinking mate and hope things are ok for you
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The_Phantom
1:35 Tue Jun 5
Re: Colonoscopy
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Am having one next Thursday,
tradesmen entrance though, not throat.
Already dreading it, the laxative, the fasting, the procedure.
Really taken the shine off the excitement of the World Cup starting
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gank
1:20 Tue Jun 5
Re: Colonoscopy
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Fuck him, hope he doesn't make it.
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w4hammer
1:19 Tue Jun 5
Re: Colonoscopy
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sorry to hear you aint well ted. Stay strong.
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